New Cycle

73 days. That's how long my last cycle was. Blech. I never thought I'd be this happy to start my period, but 73 days is a flipping long time! I kind of thought that either 1) my body had forgotten how to have a period, or 2) I was going through menopause. Well, I did have night-sweats so I think it's perfectly logical to think I was entering menopause. But, yippee, here I am! It was finally time to break out the maxi pads and tampons I bought 3 months ago. Man, if this keeps up, think of all the money I'll save not having to buy them every month.

I really thought I was pregnant. Our BD-timing ("baby dancing"... a tactful and somewhat barf-inducing way of saying we got it on) was optimal, I had 3 days of really fertile fluid (TMI, I know), and I had all these "symptoms". Most of all, my temps were doing things they'd never done before. My chart was looking too good. And it really didn't look like my period was going to show.

Maybe that's why I had such a calm TWW ("two week wait"--the time between when you ovulate to when you either get your period of find out you're pregnant)...I was pretty darn convinced I was pregnant. Despite all the good "signs" that I could be pregnant, I wasn't really obsessing about them. I just felt at peace with everything. If I was pregnant, awesome. If not, at least the excruciatingly long cycle would be over and I could look forward to trying new things to make my cycle shorter.

So, at least my excruciatingly long cycle is over and I'm looking forward to trying new things to make my cycle shorter. And now I can drink over the holidays!!! Hey, I'm trying to be positive.

I am trying to roll with my calmness and would like it to carry through this cycle. Not just because everyone says if you just relax, you'll get pregnant. God, I hate when people say that! I'm trying to calm down because I'm driving myself (and possibly Alex) crazy. I don't like obsessing about every little symptom and temperature fluctuation. Life right now is stressful enough without making myself feel like I'm less of a woman because I can't get pregnant. And who knows? Maybe I might "relax" and get pregnant.

For now, I'm focusing on other things. Like finding a job. And the holidays. Oh, and my sister comes in from New York on Thursday! We haven't seen each other since August. I can't wait!

As I lay in bed with a heating pad to cut the cramps, I remind myself that I got exactly what I wanted...my long cycle is finally over.