Alex's project ended today.
We knew it was going to be a short project, but they said 2-4 months. More like 1 month. I suppose we should have seen it coming - they were zipping through, running out of docs left & right. It could be worse...he's getting paid for 2 weeks and he's eligible for unemployment. And it (in a weird way) takes some pressure off me. I can actually work during the day now.
But the money was nice.
So now we're back to job hunting and worrying. It's a darn good thing that we're frugal (most of the time)! At least our "standard of living" won't change much.
On a totally unrelated note that I can also file under "Oh Shit" ... Amelia is officially taking multiple steps at a time. We will have a full-fledged walker soon, I'm sure. I may never sit down ever again.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Irrational Phobias & "Breakthroughs"
I have a lot of irrational phobias. I know they are irrational, so that makes me less crazy. :)
I've always had a fear of someone breaking into my house. Not really sure why. I frequently make Alex wake up and walk through the house at random times during the night to make sure no one is in our house. He's a sport about it.
But the most frustrating phobia I have stems from another one. The underlying problem is that I'm afraid of something bad happening to me. This seems to have intensified ever since I found out I was going to be a mother. I like to think this is a "normal" phobia. The irrational part is that I'm TERRIFIED to go anywhere by myself with my daughter. In the (almost) 12 months she's been here, I've taken her out solo MAYBE 4 times.
What am I afraid of? I'm afraid of being kidnapped (or her being kidnapped) or car-jacked, pretty much. The whole being-in-a-public place with her is fine, it's the getting-out-of-the-car-and-into-said-public place (and then the reverse action) that freaks me out. It's time consuming to get her strapped into her carseat. I feel extremely awkward and clumsy making the transition from stroller or cart to car. I just can't even EXPLAIN this phobia, it freaks me out so much.
It's a really embarassing phobia, I feel silly being afraid to take my daughter places. I think the only person who knows this fear is my husband. And he tells me I need to get over it. I agree - I really do.
A group of moms on a board that I belong to had a get-together at the Zoo last week. I really REALLY wanted to go. But I was super terrified - the Zoo is so busy and so far away (it seems!). Fortunately (???) my daughter slept in and we missed the opportunity to meet them. Luckily I didn't have to face my fear, or make up an excuse. :( I'm so lame.
Anyway, with our new schedule, I am home alone with Amelia Mondays and Fridays. Actually just Mondays...my mom is also off on Fridays and she likes to spend the day with us. So I'm home alone with Amelia on Mondays. I love my daughter, but it'd be nice to be able to take her places to make the day go by a little faster!
Today, I sort of faced my fear and took Amelia to Kohls. We were only gone about an hour, but baby steps. I survived. I still felt awkward and clumsy getting her into the car, but I'm sure it'll get easier.
At any rate, I had a small breakthrough. We'll see if it lasts. :)
I've always had a fear of someone breaking into my house. Not really sure why. I frequently make Alex wake up and walk through the house at random times during the night to make sure no one is in our house. He's a sport about it.
But the most frustrating phobia I have stems from another one. The underlying problem is that I'm afraid of something bad happening to me. This seems to have intensified ever since I found out I was going to be a mother. I like to think this is a "normal" phobia. The irrational part is that I'm TERRIFIED to go anywhere by myself with my daughter. In the (almost) 12 months she's been here, I've taken her out solo MAYBE 4 times.
What am I afraid of? I'm afraid of being kidnapped (or her being kidnapped) or car-jacked, pretty much. The whole being-in-a-public place with her is fine, it's the getting-out-of-the-car-and-into-said-public place (and then the reverse action) that freaks me out. It's time consuming to get her strapped into her carseat. I feel extremely awkward and clumsy making the transition from stroller or cart to car. I just can't even EXPLAIN this phobia, it freaks me out so much.
It's a really embarassing phobia, I feel silly being afraid to take my daughter places. I think the only person who knows this fear is my husband. And he tells me I need to get over it. I agree - I really do.
A group of moms on a board that I belong to had a get-together at the Zoo last week. I really REALLY wanted to go. But I was super terrified - the Zoo is so busy and so far away (it seems!). Fortunately (???) my daughter slept in and we missed the opportunity to meet them. Luckily I didn't have to face my fear, or make up an excuse. :( I'm so lame.
Anyway, with our new schedule, I am home alone with Amelia Mondays and Fridays. Actually just Mondays...my mom is also off on Fridays and she likes to spend the day with us. So I'm home alone with Amelia on Mondays. I love my daughter, but it'd be nice to be able to take her places to make the day go by a little faster!
Today, I sort of faced my fear and took Amelia to Kohls. We were only gone about an hour, but baby steps. I survived. I still felt awkward and clumsy getting her into the car, but I'm sure it'll get easier.
At any rate, I had a small breakthrough. We'll see if it lasts. :)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Changes
I don't do well with change. I kind of thrive on having a routine. Yeah, having a kid kind of disrupted things, but even we have a routine so it's all good.
Alex started a new job at the beginning of August. It's a temporary thing, similar to what he's been doing, and it's only 6 minutes away from our house. I should be really happy. And I am...well, I'm mostly happy. But this causes things to change.
The biggest change is that we've lost our "daycare" provider, so to speak. Fortunately, my dad is retired and loves spending time with Amelia, so we're not totally up a creek. But I feel bad having him watch Amelia 5 days a week (even though when he "watches" her I'm there the whole time...I change her diaper, fix her bottles and her meals, etc...but that's a whole other vent-able story), so I've made some changes to my work schedule.
I'm still trying to work 40 hours a week, but now I have Mondays and Fridays "off". Off is in quotation marks because I actually work at night when Alex gets home, but I spend the day with Amelia. Tuesday - Thursday we're at my parent's. Even with working 10 hour days Tues - Thurs and working Monday & Friday nights, I still have some hours to work on the weekends.
So basically, I am working ALL.THE.TIME. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that Alex has a job, but I am tired.
Momma needs a vacation!!! :)
Alex started a new job at the beginning of August. It's a temporary thing, similar to what he's been doing, and it's only 6 minutes away from our house. I should be really happy. And I am...well, I'm mostly happy. But this causes things to change.
The biggest change is that we've lost our "daycare" provider, so to speak. Fortunately, my dad is retired and loves spending time with Amelia, so we're not totally up a creek. But I feel bad having him watch Amelia 5 days a week (even though when he "watches" her I'm there the whole time...I change her diaper, fix her bottles and her meals, etc...but that's a whole other vent-able story), so I've made some changes to my work schedule.
I'm still trying to work 40 hours a week, but now I have Mondays and Fridays "off". Off is in quotation marks because I actually work at night when Alex gets home, but I spend the day with Amelia. Tuesday - Thursday we're at my parent's. Even with working 10 hour days Tues - Thurs and working Monday & Friday nights, I still have some hours to work on the weekends.
So basically, I am working ALL.THE.TIME. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that Alex has a job, but I am tired.
Momma needs a vacation!!! :)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Sometimes, it's hard to see the silver lining.
My husband has been unemployed since December. Amelia was 3 months old. She is now 9 months old. This sucks.
I'm working full-time from home when there is work to do for litigation. I just feel like I'm busting my ass for my family, and I am TIRED. I wish Alex had a job. We need the money, but I also need a BREAK. Seriously.
But we really do need the money. Right now we can't save because we don't have any extra money. It would be nice to be able to put money away.
I guess the silver lining is that we don't have to pay for childcare, and Alex gets to bond with our daughter. Yes...those are silver linings. But I still want him to have a job.
I'm working full-time from home when there is work to do for litigation. I just feel like I'm busting my ass for my family, and I am TIRED. I wish Alex had a job. We need the money, but I also need a BREAK. Seriously.
But we really do need the money. Right now we can't save because we don't have any extra money. It would be nice to be able to put money away.
I guess the silver lining is that we don't have to pay for childcare, and Alex gets to bond with our daughter. Yes...those are silver linings. But I still want him to have a job.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
It's Mother's Day
Today is my 1st Mother's Day with an outside baby. What a difference a year makes!
Last year we were living at my parent's house. We lost power overnight, so it made for an uncomfortable day for a pregnant lady! My dad and Alex made us breakfast (without electricity...they got HUGE points!), and then we opened presents. I got cards and Alex gave me a spa day for the next day. We spent the rest of the day at the mall, just to soak up A/C! The best part about last year's Mother's Day happened the following day. We had our "big" ultrasound and found out we were having a (healthy) baby GIRL! Afterwards, I had my spa day (facial, pregnancy massage and mani/pedi) from my husband. It was awesome!
But this year is so much better! There's just something about having a baby to hold on Mother's Day. Amelia has been saying "Mama, mama, mama" so that's pretty much the best thing EVER! Plus I got a rose bush and family heirloom ring from my mother-in-law, and Alex and Amelia gave me a beautiful watch!!!
My parents are coming over in a bit, Alex & his mom are on a walk with Amelia, so I'm just drinking Sangria and chilling. Sublime!!!
Happy Mother's Day, everyone!
I'm back!!!
Hello!
It's almost been a year since I blogged here. I haven't been completely slacking - I have been posting on my family blog regularly. Since the whole fam (both sides) reads that, I can't really vent or bitch about normal wife/mom stuff. So I'm back to this blog! I'm sure most of my "loyal readers" have deserted me by now, but that's ok. I'm doing this mostly for me!
So if you've stayed with me, thanks. And...stay tuned! :)
It's almost been a year since I blogged here. I haven't been completely slacking - I have been posting on my family blog regularly. Since the whole fam (both sides) reads that, I can't really vent or bitch about normal wife/mom stuff. So I'm back to this blog! I'm sure most of my "loyal readers" have deserted me by now, but that's ok. I'm doing this mostly for me!
So if you've stayed with me, thanks. And...stay tuned! :)
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